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Final Step - How To Manage Your Hot Buttons

If you're just catching up with us, here are step 1 and step 2 on How To Manage Your Hot Buttons.

By now you should know what your hot buttons are and how you tend to react.  You should also have a good idea about how your reactions negatively impact situations.  In other words, what you regret later.

So, how do you go about managing those situations better?  The simple answer is make the decision and just do it.  But you might need a couple of more steps in there to make it happen.  So let's take a minute and go back to Brad's situation in step 2.

The reality is that Brad could lose his job if he doesn't make some changes.  His behavior is causing tension in the team, and he's alienating his customers.  Both of those situations cost the company time.  Here's a strategy that he could try:

Decide  - By making the decision to change his behavior he's more likely to follow through

Pause & Plan - He knows that every day he needs to cover the tech support line.  He has time to anticipate and create a plan.  His plan might be to change the way he thinks about it.  Instead of thinking about how much he dreads the job, he can focus on how good it feels to help his customers get unstuck.  He could even create a little game for himself.  He could keep a scorecard next to his phone and give himself a point for each customer he helps.

Practice - Changing behavior takes practice.  We're creatures of habit, and it's easy for us to fall back into our old habits, unless we pay attention.  That's why tracking his successes would be a good way to measure progress.

Reflect & Adjust - Brad needs to make time at least every week to review his progress.  Chances are things aren't perfect yet, and reflecting gives him an opportunity to recognize where he still gets stuck.  It also gives him the chance to consciously think about what he can do a little differently to progress further.

Repeat - Persistence is important when you're creating new habits.  So when you're focusing on something specific it's helpful to follow a process and keep repeating it until you get the results you want.  It's the same process that athletes use in their training.

Ok, are you ready?  If you're going to take on this final phase of the challenge, let me know!  I'm happy to help if I can!

Step 2 - How To Manage Your Hot Buttons

If you completed step 1 of How To Manage Your Hot Buttons, you should be more aware of:

1. Which situations tend to push your buttons

2. The warning signals your body sends you when your buttons are being pushed

3. How you tend to react in those situations

Now you're more aware. You have consciously gathered some very important information. Before we move on to "what to do with the information", let's look a little closer.

If I asked someone close to you about how you react when your buttons get pushed, I'll bet they could answer in the blink of an eye. It's one of those things that's easy for others to see, but more difficult for us to admit to ourselves. After all, it's usually not something you're going to brag about. And that's my point. As Dr. Phil would say, "How's that working for you?"

That leads us to Step 2. What is it costing you?  By that I mean, take a good close look at the consequences. What damage is being done, and what is the impact?

Let's take Brad as an example. Brad is an IT guy.  Part of his responsibility is to answer the "help line" for one hour every day.  He hates it.  He thinks it's a waste of time.  He thinks the callers ask stupid questions, and he does everything possible to get out of it.  When he finally does take his turn, he makes sure he let's the caller know he thinks they're stupid.  No, he doesn't come out and say it, but they can hear it in his voice.  He's impatient, he sighs, and he makes sarcastic comments.

So what is this behavior costing Brad?  Well, for starters, nobody wants to call in when he's answering the phone.  People go out of their way to find out when he's scheduled so they can avoid him.  I'd say he's created a reputation for treating callers poorly.

Secondly, his team members are tired of his excuses.  They're tired of covering for him and they're tired of his lame reasons for getting out of the responsibility.  I'd say this is also impacting teamwork.

I'm sure there are several other consequences to Brad's behavior, but you get my point.

For the next several days, ask yourself these questions

§           What are my hot buttons costing me?

§           How are they getting in the way of what I want for myself?

§           What changes am I willing to make now?

Let me know how you do!

Step 1 - How To Manage Your Hot Buttons

First, you need to be able to identify your hot buttons.  You've got to know what they are before you can manage them.  In other words, turn off the cruise control and start paying attention to your reactions.

When a hot button is being pushed it usually signals part of your body.  You might get a knot in your stomach.  You might clench your teeth.  Your heart might beat faster.  Your muscles may tense up.  It could be any number of things, but the key point here is learning to recognize the signals. 

It's sort of like the "check engine" light in your car.  It was designed to give you fair warning that something is or could be going wrong. 

In the case of your hot buttons, you want your brain to recognize and warn you that something is going wrong.  This gives you the opportunity to consciously choose an appropriate response to the situation…and hopefully a response that you won't regret later.

Ok, for the next several days pay extra attention to your hot buttons.  When you begin to feel the signals, step back and take notice.  Ask yourself these questions:

What am I feeling?

What is prompting the feeling?

What am I about to do that I may regret?

What do I need to do right now to prevent doing something I'll regret later?

Let me know what happened!